Imagine a place

Imagine a place that you call home. 

Now, fill that place up with people – a neighborhood. What that neighborhood looks like is up to you: an apartment, a suburb, a small town, or big city. It doesn’t really matter. Just imagine it for a second. 

While you’re thinking, do you know the people in your neighborhood? Like most people, you probably imagine a home, streets, parks, trees, and a collection of strangers. But, do you know their names? Do you know their stories? 

Tony & Carl

Tony shared a story with me about an encounter with one of his neighbors. You might know a story like this as well. 

Every few days, Tony sees a man walking to the mailbox. He’s an older gentleman who lives on the corner lot with the large American flag, perfectly white shutters, and manicured garden bed. From time to time, they nod or say hello. This is rare, though, because Tony is typically distracted by the world on his phone. 

This near-miss-encounter goes on for years. Tony says that he often thinks about starting a conversation, but he describes a predictably busy, important life – always in a hurry – and never wanting to breach the veil between acknowledgement and friendship. We all know this hesitation. Do we really want to get involved? Do we have time for another friend? Won’t it be embarrassing to speak with a stranger?

One day, the older man drops his mail. Tony looked over his phone at the inconvenient pile spread out over his feet. He sighed, and reached down to help pick up the envelopes. As he balances his phone in one hand and collates envelopes in the other, Tony notices that every piece of mail is addressed to a woman named Katie.  

“This must be your wife?” Tony said.  

The old man hesitates. “Yes. Yes, that’s my Katie.”

Tony listened as he introduced himself as Carl … his neighbor from down the street. 

          “Carl. After all of these years, his name is Carl. How did I not know that?” 

Carl began telling him the story of her short illness under the umbrella of a fantastically beautiful story about their 56 year marriage, how they met on a Greyhound bus days after returning from Vietnam, their many children, and his long career as an accountant. As soon as it began, however, he describes the day she passed away at home four years ago. 

           "We had just moved into the neighborhood four years ago. How did I miss this? "

Carl continues talking about having few friends in the sprawling neighborhood strategically designed for young families. So he walks an intentional path around the neighborhood – winding around several blocks, up the street near the swimming pool and back down the hill toward the mailboxes. He’s observant, but he doesn’t speak to anyone because, as Carl says, “as a neighbor, I’m kind of an oddity … like a funny appliance you find at an antique store. Young people think it is an interesting novelty, but they wouldn’t know what to do with it if they brought it home!”

Tony listens. He’s put his phone away now, and he knows more about Carl in five minutes than he did in four years. 

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Neighboring: the big picture

You know this story – even if you don’t know Tony and Carl. In any given neighborhood, we know one neighbor well. Only 20% of us know a few. 

As Christians, we’re missing the big picture. You see, Jesus never says that our now-and-then role is to be good neighbors. In fact, He says that our greatest and most important commandment is to love our neighbors as ourselves.” We do this by seeing Him, with love, in the heart of everyone we meet. 

The good news

So, what’s the problem? Why are we becoming more unwilling to reach out to the people most in need? Simply, our lives are quickly becoming isolated and self-centered. As the opportunity for distraction on our devices increases, our capacity for neighboring decreases.  In fact, we are becoming more important than our neighbors. We might wonder about the people down the street – the Carl’s of the neighborhood, but do we present ourselves as a neighbor ready to love? Probably not.

‍The good news is that there are lots of things you can do. 

• Be intentional. Say hello to someone new … say hello and find interest in their story. Invite them for a cup of coffee – It’s amazing how many great relationships have lead to transformations that started with something as simple as coffee. Remember that wherever you live, you live in the mission field where God wants you to be. 
• Care for each other by sharing a meal when your lonely neighbors least expect it. For that matter, invite your block to a BBQ on the driveway. Those relationships will thrive over time.
• Have grace for the difficult neighbor – the neighbor who hasn’t cut their grass, parked in front of your house, or maybe painted their house pink. Have grace for the neighbor with the crying child or barking dog. Remember that Jesus asks us to see Him in the least of us. Everyone is worthy of our love.
• ‍Pray with someone when they need it. If they’re not ready for prayer, start with a cup of coffee. There is nothing more neighborly than a cup of coffee!

Just do something once and watch what happens. We will change the face of neighborhoods as we know them. 

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Your neighbor is waiting

Remember the place you imagined earlier? Close your eyes and imagine that place again. Imagine those faces in your neighborhood. Once strangers, they’ve become friends, families, caregivers and prayer warriors.  

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And they’re waiting for you … right now, right across the street. All you need to do is take a step toward them … and say hello.

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