The last time I found myself paralyzed with fear, I was 23 years old and working in a Lawrence, Kansas hardware store. 

It was 1:00 PM, and I had forgotten to uphold an obsessive tradition that I faithfully embraced since 1st grade. 

Normally, by about 12:58 PM, I would begin to drown out the outside world. If I had headphones, I put them on. If I was in the car, I’d roll up the windows and turn up the music. If I was indoors, I'd turn on something, anything, that made lots of noise. Anything to obfuscate what I knew was coming next. And what came next that day terrified me in a visceral, paralyzing way. 

I only remember hearing them and then freezing at the cash register – confused customers looking on, unsure about what to do next. This lasted for two, long minutes. And then it was over … 

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Sirens on Tuesday

At my elementary school, we practiced civil defense drills. These weren’t the tornado drills of the past, though we practiced those, too. No, the government designed these drills to help minimize casualties in the event of a nuclear war. 

Yes, it was a thing. And yes, they were frightening, especially for kids with big brothers who taught them what, exactly, nuclear war meant. 

A “drill” went something like this: civil defense sirens began wailing at around noon on a Tuesday. Teachers hysterically jumped from their seats, shut windows, and sent us hiding under our desks. At least once a month, we practiced this trauma-inducing futility under the guise that what we were doing would protect us against a Soviet nuclear attack. 

One afternoon, the sirens erupted as usual, and children began reflexively dropping to the floor and climbing under their desks. I watched the commotion, but I remember specifically how they moved in slow motion like the way I remember car accidents. After a few minutes I realized that I was still sitting in my seat, paralyzed – my teacher scolding me for not paying attention. I didn’t move that day because I couldn’t move at all. Fear had gripped me … and won. 

We all have stories about fears from our childhood. None better. None worse. If we’re not careful, however, those same fears will guide, confine, and capture us for the rest of our lives. 

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Fear Harvesting

Our concept of fear is as old as Genesis 3, but today it comes in a few basic forms. 

We harvested the word fear from the Greek word phobos. It’s where we derive the word phobia, those often irrational fears about bizarre things like insects, microbes, numbers, and darkness. We’ve read books about them. We’ve created TV shows to celebrate them. We pray for people suffering with them. For that matter, you’ve probably diagnosed some of your own phobias. 

• Rational fears are the fears that make sense. If someone brandishes a gun in front of you, the resulting fear is rational. If you’re frightened by jumping out of a plane, losing a loved one, or simply dying, you’re rationally afraid. 
• Existential fears include the really deep, unshakable fears lingering around our lives in the form of foreign wars, air raid sirens, crashing economies, pandemics, skyrocketing prices, and even our own mortality. They’re not acute and situational like phobias. Instead, they’re always hovering in the background, challenging our faith.

As I’m writing this, I recall my college psychology professor saying that if we didn’t fear, we wouldn’t be human. 

‍And we fear … a lot: 

• We fear rejection. 
• We fear failure or success. 
• We fear commitments and breakups – usually at the same time. 
• We fear time which leads to a fear of death. This is the big one, but in the meantime we fear doctors, dentists, and our health. 
• We fear the new and the old.
• We fear flies, spiders, and snakes.

‍We embrace fear and don’t even know it.  

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Joshua, Fear Not

Here’s the problem. God makes it clear that we should always work to avoid becoming beholden to fear. Does that mean we shouldn’t feel fear? Of course not! This is a difficult distinction to digest because, again, we fear so much, and we’re obsessed with future outcomes – What will happen to me? What could happen to me? What might happen to me? Again, we embrace fear like it’s our duty. 

Let’s look to Joshua 1 for guidance. In Joshua, we meet a man filled with fear and doubt despite God’s commandment to be “be strong and of good courage (Joshua 1:9).” And remember, in the human sense, Joshua had good reason to be afraid. Moses has died, and Joshua is now burdened with the responsibility of leading an army of Israelites across the Jordan River to their new home in Canaan. 

What Joshua knew? Ahead of them lie flooded rivers, walled cities, giants, and vast armies. Born into slavery, Joshua was, by any measure, unprepared for this journey, and his fear was likely crippling. 

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What About the Rest of Us?

Joshua, as it turns out, was just like us. The difference is that he suppressed his fear in favor of his calling. Remember that. Fear, in Joshua’s case, wasn’t a negotiable factor. It was a reminder that God doesn’t always call the equipped, but He always equips the called. He will guide you through whatever fear you face.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that “the wise man in the storm prays to God not for safety from danger but for deliverance from fear.”

In the same way, Joshua knew that his fears would limit his ability to fulfill his duty to God and His people, so he trusted the plan God set forth. 

But what does that mean for us? Are we called to be fear-less? Is it normal to fear at all? Should we feel limited by fear?

At the highest level, we question the character of God and the role we’ve been given when we give in to fear. It places us, selfishly, at the center of a story written for us as supporting characters. But, when we succumb to fear, it drops us on center stage of that story. The story becomes about us, not for us as God intends.

God assigns each of us a challenging purpose, often filled with obstacles and beyond our perceived capabilities. Like Joshua, He seeks our willingness over skill. In fact, He expects us to feel inadequate and unprepared, just like Joshua must have felt. In the same way, He encourages us to pursue whatever mission He gives us, bravely. As long as we say yes, the Lord promises to support us on this journey, even when our fears challenge us to say, no. 

‍So, for us, God clearly distinguishes between feeling fear and being captive to fear. This is the hard part, though. How do you simply hand off fear? How do you tell yourself to stop being afraid?

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Facing Fear Without Headphones

I experienced “fear paralysis” for years until that day in the hardware store. Every month since childhood, the wailing sirens would drop a cue for me to submit to my existential fears. It wasn’t until I met a young rabbi that month that I began to recognize the distinction between fear and faith, and I still vividly remember that conversation. 

“You have a choice. Choose to be conquered by fear – haunted by it. Or be liberated by faith. Psalm 119 says that “in my distress, I prayed.” You see, faith doesn’t, in and of itself, create lack of fear. No, faith taps into your ability to face them. Fear is the enemy. Disobey it. You cannot fully follow God, if you’re worried about pursuing your fear. You can’t have both in your life.”

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So, Now What?

First, choose faith. Face your fears, and acknowledge them for the purposeful challenge they represent. Remember, God never gave us a spirit of fear, He gave us a spirit of calmness – of a sound mind (Timothy 1:7). Stop questioning the character of God and begin re-writing His story featuring you at center stage, and remember that you’re a supporting character. And on His stage, you have nothing to fear. 

Next, stop looking into the future, always on the lookout for the next fearful event. Instead, focus upward. Focus on God. Seek the Lord, and He WILL deliver you from your fear (Psalm 34:4). For every minute that we’re focused on fears, heads buried in our phones, we miss the opportunity to accept our next challenge. 

That's what Jesus did. He made his fate a product of “God’s will.” And God needs us to face our fears while, at the same time, paying attention to His reminder that he will never leave us. He’s always there reminding us to stop worrying, “for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you (Isaiah 41:10). 

Today, I’m fine listening to sirens. I’m fine anticipating them, hearing them, saying good-bye to them. I'm not perfect ... I struggle with fear just like anyone else, but I’m prepared because I know God is with me, standing firm, ready to give me my next challenge without blinders or headphones, I know I'll be ready.

What fears are you ready to hand over to God?